Dear Diary
We really have to do something about this ugly female cop situation.
To be clear, I’m not say’n their ugly, but in the past we did get a complaint that they makes blind kids cry. One broad got suspended by her supervisors for mooning people from her squad car. Turns out she just had her head out the window.
Then there was that other one that we had to move out of Robbery becuase she’s so ugly the banks kept turning off the cameras when she showed up. On the other hand, no one minds if our females officers park in handicap spaces.....it just seems fair. We gave one woman a dog to work with but it didn’t pan out. She threw the dog a stick once, an ugly stick, damn dog got it and beat her with it.
Which reminds me, we have to get the dog catcher to stop locking up our females officers as strays. On the other hand, when they get sick, we do take them to the vet, so it all kinda works out. We had one on the force who was so ugly her parents named her “Shit happens”. The hospital put tainted windows on her incubator. I heard her mother had to get drunk before she breast fed her.
Then there was that time the ladies held their annual “Day out together” and went down to the national. Bastards refused to let em out. I should have known their was aproblem when we arrived and the zoo keeper thanked me for “Bring’n back the herd” Its sad, they’re all single. Hell, even the calendar wouldn’t give these women a date
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