The Fairfax County Police gave an award to a crime prevention officer at West Springfield District Police Station....because he prevented crime. What was he suppose to do? Increase crime? I mean...its...I can't be the only one seeing this.....Ouy
Lenny Moskcowiz, a special education student at Fairfax High has been chosen to replace the departing Deputy Fairfax County Police Chief Stephen L. Sellers. "We don't really need another deputy chief, we got like, ten of em already, but this Moskcowitz kid is a real pisser, crazier then hell....he thinks he Caption Kirk, I mean, that's okay, we're all a little delusional, hell, I think I'm competent. ...I mean, look I know you shouldn't make fun of crazy people, but I tell you, this kids a real jewel, we were lucky to find him, its hard to find funny crazy people"
The police union is expected to file a complaint later in the week.
"Shoplifting is a serious crime" said Police chief Roarerer today "Its when you take things from shops that don't belong to you. Its not that sport from the Olympics with the Chinese guys in diapers. That's something different"
We would like to apologize to Fairfax County Police Officer Katherine Ray. (pictured above) We wrongly reported that Officer Ray was working undercover in Tysons Corner Mall as a tree decoration. She isn't. Apparently she's just a fuck'n nut.
EVEN IN OUR UNDERWEAR
We're not being mean, but really, does this guy look like he could be a younger version of Chief Roarer? No, really, take away the red make up, put a bra on him.....and there you go....
Bobby Mica, center was recently hired on as a Junior Fairfax County Police officer. "Its the best thing really" Bobby parents said "The kid is just a little prick anyway, we don't like him. He belongs on the police force"
Nice shirt an all, but God damn that is one hard looking woman...Mary is a woman, right? I mean, not that there's anything wrong with that