I start each day the same way, I burn a couple of bucks from petty crash. When you got $250,000,000 to spend without question, you gotta do something with the money
To make sure I have a job next year, I give out awards for any fuck'n thing I can think of. You remember this guy, of course, I gave him the "What would I look like if I were taller" award and the other guy got the "What I'll look like a couple of years after I get pushed into forced retirement award" Those yellow stripes on my uniform mean that I'm like a for real admiral in the navy. Pretty cool huh?
At 10:30 I handed out the "You look great in glasses award" and gave that guy on the right a medal for wearing a suit that doesn't fit, you know, cause its a long day, you got to change things around
At noon, I made everybody come into the office and clap in rhythm cause like, sometimes I get lonely....see how happy are they are? Especially the colored guy at the end, they like music those people .....
...so like, I go to him "Queers go huh" cept I whispered it and he goes, like "Huh?" and I did that like, twenty million times....it was so like way wicked cool
Around 1:00 I force the off duty cops and their families to gather outside and listen to my speech about how I will one day rule the world and force everybody to drink cool aid. Like a lot of the time you know, I pretend there is stuff written on that easel thing...like charts and stuff and I point to it a lot and go "its written right here!"