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on sale now at amazon
"I don't like this book because it don't got know pictures" Chief Rhorerer

“It’s becoming a disturbingly familiar scene in America - mentally unstable cops”

“It’s becoming a disturbingly familiar scene in America - mentally unstable cops”
“It’s becoming a disturbingly familiar scene in America - mentally unstable cops”

Fairfax County Police Unveil New, Improved 'Most Wanted' Fugitives Site

                                           Spokesman Lucy Caldwell


Fairfax County is reintroducing its "Most Wanted" fugitives site, debuting the redesign this week with updated information and photos of alleged criminals, cute little bunnies and guys in skimpy shorts.

"Basically we had two sites that we were keeping up," explained FCPD spokeswoman Lucy Caldwell. "We had a 'Top 10' like, you know, the Beatles and Elvis and like that and a 'Most Wanted,' like, you know, a vacation in a really nice place, like, say you know, Baltimore or something.    

 We've consolidated those and redesigned them. Having Twitter, which we've just begun ... it's a good way to bring the public's attention to it and waste even more money, but you know, we’re all salary so, it really doesn’t matter. You know, we’re gonna pocket $2,000,000 in overtimes this year alone, so like, you know, things are good for us”

 Caldwell expects the "Most Wanted" list to be updated monthly. “Cause like a lot of times you want different things”

 FCPD is using larger pictures and more succinct language, she said, so the public can understand more about the crimes committed. “Words like ‘Wham-oo” and you know, like that”

 "We do get results from these ... sometimes very obscure callers who have moved way from the area, so people do follow up, but mostly these are crazy people who usually talk to their cats" Caldwell said.


Police decide who to feature based on a variety of factors, including sexiness and clarity of the photo.  At the moment, the county has 3,800 people who are "wanted."

 Which goes to show you” Caldwell said, “There is someone for everyone, like you know?”