Lanigan update: Fairfax Chief Roagerhrer issues statement

        "I can county to five-teen and this stash does not make me look gay"   

Here is Chief Roarerrs full statement:



“Five people will read my statement however 5,000 people from all over the US and the rest of the world will read this. Okay, so here goes....recently, several articles and blogs have been published in The Washington Post.....I don't read much but that's what I'm told, and I don't do no reading the Washington Post for one good reason....because they don't never put no cartoons with the stories.  The other one good reason is that reporter Hugh Jackman, he should either stick to film or do reporting and the fourth one good is reason is because they write things I don't like....so there! Why don't you just write about Police ride alongs like all the other media in town who have bought into the cop glorification thing?

     Take that Jack Human!

    Regarding our investigation of the Lanigan case...I have one question and one question only......do these pants make me look fat?

    I also want to point out that the Lanigan case, as I have come to realize after a day long investigation is not the kind you put clothes in and also I think those sales guy in the mall suitcase store were very mean to laugh at me like that...... 

   So like now that Jack Tomman of the Post went and did this writing thing you know, like all these other outlets  are now reported in other various....various mean alot and different I no cuss asked ..... media expressing concern and sharply criticizing the performance and conduct of the Police Department and several detectives in a criminal investigation and prosecution of allegations against a Fairfax County Public Schools teacher.....whew, I don't know who wrote that sentence for me but would a fucking comma kill you? 

So anyway.....they're like really, really picking on two of my bestest guys Detective Nicole Christian and Detective Richard Mullins....so they rushed to judgement...so what? Rememebr in Season two of  American Idol when the Fat black guy goes to that English guy, he goes "Whooee Dog, Kaylee's giv'n her heart man...." and I agree Kaylee was like way better than Carly and she should have won.....so the lesson is, just because you're a judge  that doesn't give you the right to judge....so take that Ben Bradlee.  Just because you own a lot of bored games that doesn't make you write all the time.

  So here's what they told me to say "these stories about these tow dumb people who work for me have been harshly, and I strongly believe unfairly, criticized for their actions and their “rush to judgment” in the obviously one-sided reporting because I looked on the back on the newspaper page where the story was and there was a story there about another flood in Pakistan and why don't those people just get up and move to a different county, you know?...so that proves it one sided.  


Allegations of improper conduct by police officers are always taken very seriously while the media is watching and then we stamp in secret and destory it after three years and don' put anything in the cops file either....yeah, this is a racket 

I have reviewed the investigative report in the past, and in the future and I I recently met with Detective Christian, Detective Mullins, and their supervisor and commanders and we all had a pretty laugh over this.

I have also spoken with the Commonwealth’s Attorney, Ray Morrogh who does exactly what we tell him to do. We wanted to ensure or it could in-sure that he had no concerns as to the conduct of the investigation, and, again, specifically our detectives’ actions. He does not, and he too has done an independent review. He has affirmed that they acted appropriately and properly.

You know why? Because unlike that smarty pants from the Post, Jackson Hewitt, we know about that little incident at the emergency room last year and that's why we're gonna get away with a WHOLE LOTTA shit for a long time.   

In a trial held almost a year ago, the teacher was found not guilty by a jury on the charges of abduction and aggravated sexual battery proving that one again, we fucked up

Now in this next part I'm going to blame the finest Judicial system in the world in the world of  dropping the ball;

 Yet, as we all know, trials, particularly in a case involving allegations and subsequent testimony by a young victim and/or a young witness, can be difficult. Most of us also know that in many trials some evidence is presented, some is not or cannot be used, and some witnesses testify, others do not. We also know that a much higher burden of proof is required to convict a person, one higher than that required to support an arrest.

Now we police really, really like probable cause because its so vague and lets us kill and arrest people based largely on suspicion like we did in this case and then get away with it by calling it a legal standard....but then the idiots on the jury let the facts cloud their judgement and let Lanigan go free.

We'll kill him later on and call it self defense but I do want to say that the detectives conducted a thorough investigation and considered all of the evidence and information on hand to establish the probable cause necessary to arrest the teacher....and we arrested anyway. Fuck you.

Because we basically own the States Attorney and because we loaded the case against this Lanigan guy with false charges and gossip.....the judge did find that probable cause existed and certified the case to the Fairfax County Circuit Court.

Let me say this; this stash does not make me look gay no matter what you say also the jury system is like, not good because look at all the troubles they caused for me.


There is simply no evidence that the proper protocols were not followed in this case. In fact, the detectives followed all appropriate investigative protocols....because we destroyed that evidence and marked the rest secret.  


Just to highlight a few key points that have been reported that are either in error or require clarification:

Most importantly, neither the victim nor the witness ever recanted their allegations during the preliminary hearing or at the subsequent trial becuase we warned them they would be arrested if they Did. Their statements and testimony remained consistent throughout the investigation, preliminary hearing, and trial so the threats worked. So that worked

The interviewing of the victim by a CPS investigator, one who is well trained at walking dogs, is a standard and acceptable protocol. Detective Mullins observed the interview, this means he glared at the victims to make sure they were scared enough not to back down from their charges. So that worked

 The Assistant Commonwealth’s Attorney never offered a plea agreement to misdemeanor assault but we own his ass so that worked.

The detectives did check the equipment room in question, and although there were no mats in there at the time they ascertained from other witnesses that they were occasionally stored or placed there so they jumped to the conclusion that anyone who ever entered the room was guilty of something or would be some day, so that worked.

I stand behind and by all of our detectives’ actions, as I lead them forward walking in beside them...whew...

As fro  Detective Christian and Detective Mullins, in this case and I am satisfied that their investigation was thorough and in accordance with applicable law, policies, and procedures because right now my ass is on the line and I'm probably going to get fired this year because of the election an all so, like what did you expect me to say?

 As detectives they work hard to protect and serve our community by shooting people who carry cell phones and have the IQ of a fuck'n rock, I strongly refute the allegations and character assassination statements made against our detectives in the media reports and blog comments, so let me say three things. The first third thing is to the Post and the blog people "Bitchy bitchy btchy"

Okay and the second their things is all the shot we did to wroingly convict this guy would have worked had their not been a just system and a free press....so there.