THE
TORRES TWO YEAR PAID VACATION PLAN
Are you a cop in Fairfax County? Ever wish you could get two
years paid vacation that
won’t interfere with your pension?
Well now you can! Under the Torres Two Year Paid
Vacation Plan all you have to do is kill
someone! *
It’s like getting
away with murder!
FAQS
about the Torres Two Year Vacation Plan
What
excuses will work for killing an unarmed citizen?
Almost anything will work! That's right ANYTHING! As
an example “The car door pushed my arm which caused me to pull the trigger that
placed a bullet directly though his heart” or “Even though we had him blocked in
on all sides and had chased him for miles for stealing a plant, I felt threatened
and shot him dead! Both of those worked!
Go
on! And I can get away with excuses like that?
Sure! Sometimes you don’t even
need an excuse!
What
about body cameras? Won’t that leave evidence?
Sure they will BUT WE DON’T USE
THEM IN FAIRFAX COUNTY!
Won’t
someone investigate the shooting?
Here’s the beauty of the Torres Two year Vacation Plan…..the cops will investigate
the cops!
What
if the investigation finds me guilty?
In the sixty years of the
Fairfax County Police and many, many questionable killings THAT HAS NEVER
HAPPENED! And if it is does, we’ll just make the evidence exempt from the
public records!
How
about the media? Won’t they cause a problem?
Perhaps some will…. but for the
most part explaining wanton murder takes more than sixty seconds to explain so the
electronic media won’t even cover the killing beyond that! Even better still, some members of the media are so desperate for attention they’ll even join government
sponsored committees control by the politicians and the police to examine why
the police kill people and why our government officials don’t do anything about
it! See? Under the Torres Two Year Vacation Plan cops can’t lose!
But
isn’t the role of media sacred? Aren’t they supposed to be the watch dogs of
democracy?
Come on kid, land your fuck’n balloon.
Don’t
I have to be concerned about the victim’s family?
Naw! Not under the Torres Two Year Vacation Plan! The police department
will pay them off with millions in taxpayer’s dollars!
But
gosh, won’t this harm our elected officials?
Heck no! As long as they keep
calling themselves liberals they’ll keep getting the right endorsements and
keep getting reelected!
I’m
sold! How do I start to I take advantage
of the Torres Two Year Vacation Plan?
Just start shooting people** It’s
that simple!
The Torres Plan Two Year Vacation Plan ….
It’s like getting away with murder!
*Certain rules and restrictions may apply. Unfortunately
the Torres Plan does not cover shooting children, most women and people of
color.
**Victims must have no prior criminal
record and be unarmed and/or posing no direct threat to the public.
