Introducing the Torres Two year Vacation Plan!

THE TORRES TWO YEAR PAID VACATION PLAN

Are you a cop in Fairfax County? Ever wish you could get two years paid vacation that won’t interfere with your pension?

Well now you can! Under the Torres Two Year Paid Vacation Plan all you have to do is kill someone! *

                      It’s like getting away with murder!

FAQS about the Torres Two Year Vacation Plan

What excuses will work for killing an unarmed citizen?

Almost anything will work! That's right  ANYTHING! As an example “The car door pushed my arm which caused me to pull the trigger that placed a bullet directly though his heart” or “Even though we had him blocked in on all sides and had chased him for miles for stealing a plant, I felt threatened and shot him dead!  Both of those worked!

Go on! And I can get away with excuses like that?

Sure! Sometimes you don’t even need an excuse!

What about body cameras? Won’t that leave evidence?

Sure they will BUT WE DON’T USE THEM IN FAIRFAX COUNTY!

Won’t someone investigate the shooting?

Here’s the beauty of the Torres Two year Vacation Plan…..the cops will investigate the cops!

What if the investigation finds me guilty?

In the sixty years of the Fairfax County Police and many, many questionable killings THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED! And if it is does, we’ll just make the evidence exempt from the public records!

How about the media? Won’t they cause a problem?

Perhaps some will…. but for the most part explaining wanton murder takes more than sixty seconds to explain so the electronic media won’t even cover the killing beyond that! Even better still, some members of the media are so desperate for attention they’ll even join government sponsored committees control by the politicians and the police to examine why the police kill people and why our government officials don’t do anything about it! See? Under the Torres Two Year Vacation Plan cops can’t lose!

But isn’t the role of media sacred? Aren’t they supposed to be the watch dogs of democracy?    

Come on kid, land your fuck’n balloon.

Don’t I have to be concerned about the victim’s family?

Naw! Not under the Torres Two Year Vacation Plan! The police department will pay them off with millions in taxpayer’s dollars!

But gosh, won’t this harm our elected officials?

Heck no! As long as they keep calling themselves liberals they’ll keep getting the right endorsements and keep getting reelected!

I’m sold!  How do I start to I take advantage of the Torres Two Year Vacation Plan?

Just start shooting people** It’s that simple!

The Torres Plan Two Year Vacation Plan ….

It’s like getting away with murder!

*Certain rules and restrictions may apply. Unfortunately the Torres Plan does not cover shooting children, most women and people of color.

**Victims must have no prior criminal record and be unarmed and/or posing no direct threat to the public.