Fairfax County Police introduce new plan to deal with the mentally unstable: Have two cops commit the murder instead of one.

“I came up with the plan” boasted Fairfax County’s height challenged Police Chief What’s it  Roareer “I  figured it would be easier get away with a shooting party that way. More importantly I would like to point out that I do not look like the Gay Guy from the Village People with the leather hat”

“I think it’s important, significant and imperative ….that’s all the words my dinosaurus had…..that force must be a constant for controlling and arresting all persons, especially the mentally ill because they are….well…..crazy” said the chief. “So I resent the impla…impala…no, un…im-pla…...I resent the way you news people say that my department does not have a  training course for dealing with the emotionally disturbed and mentally-ill persons in the context of use of force….we do….we kill them. It may not be plans your like, but it’s a plan”

“I would also like to point out, very pointedly” the chief insisted on saying “ that we do have policies related to civil commitments and dealing with the mentally ill, however, as we have made clear, we have no intention of  actually conducting training related to these policies, or to train on tactics and use of force in the context of the emotionally disturbed and the mentally ill.”



The International Association of Chiefs of Police (IACP) implemented a model policy on “Dealing with the Mentally Ill in 1997. The policy asserts:

The policy also provides a number of suggested tactics when dealing with the mentally ill:

Should the officer determine that an individual may be mentally ill and a potential threat to himself, the officer, or others, or may otherwise require law enforcement intervention for humanitarian reasons as prescribed by statute, the following responses may be taken.

Fairfax County Policy: Shoot the bastard

Request a backup officer, and always do so in cases where the individual will be taken into custody.

Fairfax County Policy: Shoot the bastard

Take steps to calm the situation. Where possible, eliminate emergency lights and sirens, disperse crowds, and assume a quiet non-threatening manner when approaching or conversing with the individual. Where violence or destructive acts have not occurred, avoid physical contact, and take time to assess the situation.

Fairfax County Policy: Shoot the bastard

Move slowly and do not excite the disturbed person. Provide reassurance that the police are there to help and that he will be provided with appropriate care.

Fairfax County Policy: Shoot the bastard

Communicate with the individual in an attempt to determine what is bothering him. Relate your concern for his feelings and allow him to ventilate his feelings. Where possible, gather information on the subject from acquaintances or family members and/or request professional assistance if available and appropriate to assist in communicating with and calming the person.

Fairfax County Policy: Shoot the bastard

Do not threaten the individual with arrest or in any other manner as this will create additional fright, stress, and potential aggression.

Fairfax County Policy: Shoot the bastard

Avoid topics that may agitate the person and guide the conversation toward subjects that help bring the individual back to reality.

Fairfax County Policy: Shoot the bastard

Always attempt to be truthful with a mentally ill individual. If the subject becomes aware of a deception, he may withdraw from the contact in distrust and may become hypersensitive or retaliate in anger.

Fairfax County Policy: Shoot the bastard




Big news: Fairfax County Police investigate Fairfax County Police in shooting of Centerville man and find Fairfax Police innocent in shooting…..….

............in a related story, Fairfax County Police also find themselves innocent of any wrong doing in the deaths of the next five people they gun down.

      "We just figured" lisped Chief Roarerer " It would save time for everyone and allow me to return to my true mission...finding a cure of shortness, although I prefer to use the high class medical term...midgetitize...some'n like that"    

Chief Roarerer