Well, by gosh don't do it!
Instead, move to Fairfax County and the Cops will kill you for free!
Collect on that life insurance and give a Fairfax County Cop that masturbatory fantasy he longs for! The one about shooting the swells, not the one about the school boy and the screw driver.
Worried about messy investigations for insurance fraud? Well don't!
We're the police and we absolutely guarantee that we'll find ourselves innocent in the investigation and for no extra charge we'll darken your name and reputation so badly, the insurance companies are sure to pay off!
Where do I sign up, you ask?
That's the beauty of Death by Fairfax County Cop....you don't sign up! You just move here, have one of those ethnic names and we'll kill you without signing anything!
So call us today! Grown men who still have issues with their father's are standing by to take your call!
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