These people have way, way,way to much time on their hands

The Fairfax County Police gave an award to a crime prevention officer at West Springfield District Police Station....because he prevented crime. What was he suppose to do? Increase crime? I mean...its...I can't be the only one seeing this.....Ouy

Deputy Fairfax County Police Chief Stephen L. Sellers replacement is hired

Lenny Moskcowiz, a special education student at Fairfax High has been chosen to replace the departing Deputy Fairfax County Police Chief Stephen L. Sellers. "We don't really need another deputy chief, we got like, ten of em already, but this Moskcowitz kid is a real pisser, crazier then hell....he thinks he Caption Kirk, I mean, that's okay, we're all a little delusional, hell, I think I'm competent. ...I mean, look I know you shouldn't make fun of crazy people, but I tell you, this kids a real jewel, we were lucky to find him, its hard to find funny crazy people" 

Fairfax County Police Officer requests punishment

Fairfax County Police Officer Bobby Dunn recently applied to be reprimanded for distributing hundreds, perhaps thousands of photos of herself, topless, at a Caribbean resort. (Above)  When asked if a reprimand was fourthcoming  a police spkesman said "I swear to God, we figured she was a guy. She offered to take her pants off to prove she's not, but, we were like 'whhoooaa doggie"  We ended up trading her a week off with overtime if she kept her pants on"

The police union is expected to file a complaint later in the week.

Fairfax County Police Women go undercover to catch shoplifters

"Shoplifting is a serious crime" said Police chief Roarerer today "Its when you take things from shops that don't belong to you. Its not that sport from the Olympics with the Chinese guys in diapers. That's something different"

We would like to apologize to Fairfax County Police Officer Katherine Ray. (pictured above)  We wrongly reported that Officer Ray was working undercover in Tysons Corner Mall as a tree decoration. She isn't. Apparently she's just a fuck'n nut. 

I said they're hiring at Wal-Mart, get the fuck'n snow outa your ears, for christs sakes

Fairfax County Police, fighting crime

EVEN IN OUR UNDERWEAR

We're not being mean, but really, does this guy look like he could be a younger version of Chief Roarer? No, really, take away the red make up, put a bra on him.....and there you go.... 

Fairfax County Police...there's alot more to us than meets the eye

Local boy hired on as Fairfax County Police officer in training

Bobby Mica, center was recently hired on as a Junior Fairfax County Police officer. "Its the best thing really" Bobby parents said "The kid is just a little prick anyway, we don't like him. He belongs on the police force" 

Fairfax County Police

Just a bunch a white guys who like to party ........

Fairfax Couty Police say its our favorite day because...............

Fairfax County propaganda expert Mary Ann Jennings, hi Mary

Nice shirt an all, but God damn that is one hard looking woman...Mary is a woman, right? I mean, not that there's anything wrong with that

Frustrated at not being able to come up with a "winning war on texting" strategy, the cops hired a wizard

...........they figure, "What the fuck, its not our money. We don't even live here"