"Shoplifting is a serious crime" said Police chief Roarerer today "Its when you take things from shops that don't belong to you. Its not that sport from the Olympics with the Chinese guys in diapers. That's something different"
We would like to apologize to Fairfax County Police Officer Katherine Ray. (pictured above) We wrongly reported that Officer Ray was working undercover in Tysons Corner Mall as a tree decoration. She isn't. Apparently she's just a fuck'n nut.
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