BROUGHT TO YOU BY................................
THE TORRES TWO YEAR PAID VACATION PLAN
ITS LIKE GETTING AWAY WITH MURDER!
ENDORSED BY THE SHARON BULOVA AND THE FAIRFAX COUNTY BOARD OF SUPERVISORS
Police
Reports
The following are copies of
written statements submitted to the police on report forms The drivers were
instructed to give a brief statement on the particulars of the accident in
their own words.
Coming home, I drove into the
wrong house and collided with a tree I don't know.
I pulled away from the side of the road,
glanced at my Mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
The gentleman behind me struck me on the
backside. He then went to rest in the bush with just his rear end showing.
In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a
telephone pole.
I had been driving my car for forty years when
I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
MD: An invisible car came out
of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.
The pedestrian had no idea
which direction to go, so I ran over him.
I saw the slow moving, sad
faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.
The guy was all over the road,
I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
To avoid hitting the bumper of
the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
I was sure the old fellow would never make it
to the other side of the roadway when I struck him.
My girlfriend kissed me. I lost
control and woke up in the hospital.
When I saw I could not avoid a
collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other
car.
As I approached the
intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had
ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
The indirect cause of this
accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
I collided with a stationary
truck coming the other way.
I told the police that I was
not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had fractured my skull.
