Let’s all go home and lock our doors

An 18-year-old man, celebrating on the evening of May 21 after it had become clear that the world would not end as predicted by a radio evangelist, drowned after jumping playfully off a bridge into Michigan's Kalamazoo River. [Kalamazoo Gazette, 5-21-2011]

First Things First: Alan Buckley, 44, on holiday from Cheshire, England, was arrested in Orlando in June and charged with taking upskirt photographs of a woman at a Target store. Buckley's child had gotten sick and was admitted to Orlando's Arnold Palmer Hospital for Children, and Buckley was apparently killing time at Target after visiting with the child (and was later identified by witnesses because he was still wearing his hospital visitor's sticker, with his name on it). [Orlando Sentinel, 6-10-2011]

Steven Long, 23, was arrested in South Daytona, Fla., in May on suspicion of theft after a patrol officer spotted him pedaling his bike down a street with a 59-inch TV set on the handlebars. [South Florida Sun-Sentinel, 5-31-2011]

Matthew Davis, 32, pleaded guilty to theft in Cairns, Australia, in June; he had been arrested on suspicion because police had noticed a large office safe protruding "precariously" out the back of his vehicle as he drove by. [Cairns Post, 6-30-2011]