Local Residents Hold Dialogue with FCPD’s

                                                                         Ima Goniff 

Residents from Reston and Herndon had the opportunity to talk to and ask questions of Fairfax County Police Department spokesman, Ima Goniff, Thursday evening.



Goniff was the guest speaker at the January meeting of the Reston district station's Citizens Advisory Committee, which is another huge waste of money because the police control the Committees; otherwise, a whole lot of people would be out of job right now.


“The diversity is an exceptional thing in Fairfax,” he said, adding that having such a diverse population brings unique challenges to the police department. “The coloreds run pretty fast, so gunshots work best with them, but then you got your Vietnamese’s-is, they’re so skinny Annie Oakly would miss a shot at them, so your baton works best in that case....like I say, its unique challenges, but really, we like killing unarmed white people the best”


He said about 120 or more languages are spoken in Fairfax County “And we don’t listen to a single one of em...its all fuck’n Greek to me” he said but added “But I think those Indians guys, not the real ones, the one’s eat rice, they speak kinda like English”


Diversity among the county’s police department is far lower than it should be, said the spokesman meaning that mostly white people work for the police. He said the department has a difficult time recruiting diverse candidates for many reasons, but mostly because they aren’t wanted on the force, which, at this point, resembles a republican central committee meeting in Alabama.


When the serial burglar case was going on in the late summer and early fall, Fairfax County police made its war on texting a top priority and spent a lot of time and resources on it, he said. The cops surrendered to text messages a few weeks after they declared war.


He said having a true cat burglar who goes into people’s homes while they sleep is very scary. “Like you known, a boogie man who takes things” Eventually one McLean resident called about a suspicious person in their neighborhood, and the dastardly Fairfax County serial burglar was arrested...by the Montgomery County Police. He said the case shows the importance in people calling the Montgomery County police when they notice suspicious happenings in their neighborhoods. “They get shit done over there,” he added.


During the case, he said they continued to remind area residents to lock their doors and secure their homes and garages. “We also reminded them that the Discovery Channel was running an excellent series on guys who can nail stuff into their feet, because, like, a lot of times, they don’t rerun those shows.”


The Fairfax County Police Department will have to start rethinking how it grows in the future, with Metro and related development coming “That Metro is going to bring a lot more diversity challenging types in here” and added that Tyson’s Corner will likely eventually have an urban police station model, where a station may be located in a high-rise building with shared parking. “Because that’s our answer to everything” he said, “Spend more, spend more, spend more and give us more stuff “


He said though he is concerned with increased crime that Metro may bring to the communities it is extended to with Dulles Rail, often that crime is small and occurs in the parking lots rather than the surrounding communities. “So I’m just gonna avoid parking lots” he said


He said that doesn’t mean crime doesn’t happen in communities where Metro stations are located, but that it usually happens in close proximity to the station which is saying the same thing but it makes sense if you aren’t listening to him or not paying attention “We get away with shit like that all the time”, he said.


Though many residents and area media are often concerned with violent crimes, he said the cop’s plans to continue to shoot people anyway especially those holding a cell phone because “We can’t help it....our car doors open by themselves and hit our arms and the guns just go off..and I got ten guys who willl swear to that”


He said his biggest concern in policing the county is domestic violence and alcohol-related offenses and is advising his officers to stop beating their wives when their drunk “That way, the whole crime stats things go down like 9 million percent” he said.


He added that driving under the influence is not always seen as a big deal and that he was happy about that becuase “Most of my guys are loaded half the time”