Report of the Fairfax County auditor, Internal Audit Office

Report of the Fairfax County auditor, Internal Audit Office on the complaint by  citizen James Darden, age 57, that he was severely beaten by Fairfax County Police Officer Christian Chamberlain and Mohammed Oluwa.

Officers version of what Darden looked like on the night he assualted himself

 Darden claims Officers Christian Chamberlain and Mohammed Oluwa violated his rights under the Fourth Amendment and Title 42 of the Civil Rights Act and used excessive force when they handcuffed and detained him on June 16, 2010.

Darden says in the complaint it occurred as he was walking to Rising Hope United Methodist Mission Church, located off Richmond Highway between Hybla Valley and Mount Vernon.

With that admission, we find Darden guilty of being black while walking alone at night, a felony and a stupid thing to do in Fairfax County.  It is our conclusion that Mr. Darden beat himself up and tried to blame it on the officers.  

 And we’re saying that with a straight face.  We know it isn’t it funny. What is funny is that Darden actually thought that two Fairfax County Cops would be punished for anything.

 It is not clear from the lawsuit, filed Aug. 5 in federal district court, where the incident took place.

 Darden could not be located for comment. The attorney for the officers, Kimberly Baucom with the Fairfax County Attorney’s Office, said she could not comment on the case if she knows what’s good for her. Parking lots can be very lonely, dark places.

 “However I will say” Baucom said “That the Fairfax County Attorney’s Office  has all the back bone of a jelly fish when it comes to dealing with the police so why should I be any different? After all, if I was any good at this lawyer thing, I'd be working in a private firm”

Darden admits that he was walking to the church, where he worked as a janitor, when the much maligned officers Chamberlain and Oluwa stopped him. They asked him for identification, which he supplied.  Since its rare to find a black man dumb enough to walk the streets of Fairfax County at night, the officers feared that Darden might be mentally disabled and searched him for a weapon because, you know, black guy, night……c’mon, you know  what I mean.  

 Darden then asked why he was being searched and was arrested and handcuffed him with his arms behind his back, threw him to the ground and onto his stomach and Oluwa rammed him knee in his back as Chamberlain choked him. Chamberlain then shocked Darden with a Taser approximately three times.

Darden was made to sit and wait until a third officer eventually came to the scene and told Darden he could leave since it was obvious that Darden could not take a joke.

The officer said they worked Darden over and forced him to the ground because they saw traces of cocaine around his mouth....yeah, like, that's a good reason...no really, it is.

Officers version of how much cociane Darden had on his face when they stopped him

Darden was not charged with any crime but, because we don’t want the cops waiting in our neighborhood for us, we strongly feel that Darden should have been arrested if not shot or both. Both is good.  

We must respectfully differ with the Police when they say that Mr. Darden can’t take a joke and has no sense of humor. In fact, Mr. Darden reported the incident the same day to the police department…….now come on, does that show a sense of humor or what?

Dardin after alleged rough fun filled housing incident 

In conclusion, for hurting the officers feeling and for being so fucking stupid as to believe that the Fairfax County Cops will ever be found guilty of anything, we, the members of the Fairfax County auditor, Internal Audit Office demand that Mr. Darden pay the officers in question $150,000 in compensatory damages and an unspecified amount in punitive damages….if not, well, they know where you live, you know what I mean Darden? Also, we would like to say that we don't find it at all funny that is actually a cop named Mohammed Oluwa .