Fairfax County Police recruits broken hearted over new rule of not shooting people with cell phones

"The poor little guys we're were really upset when they heard the news"Chief Roaerers said "Most of them hugged themselves and started rocking back and fourth and hitting their heads on the walls really hard, cause, you know, they're fuck'n retarded"

"What's the point of joining the Fairfax County Police" slurred one recruit "if you can't murder people and blame it on a cell phone....you know they look like pistols those cell phones, especially when you owe the guy holding it ten large"

"If Walmart was hiring" said another "I'd go to work for them"