Like like super cool diary of police chief roarererer

   Me, undercover as a guy with a mustache, pretty sneaky huh? 

Dear secret like really cool diary 
I always meet with the new men on the force...you know, hit em up for a quick loan before they become alcholics and piss it all away...I also met them to give them what I call  my “New guy speech.” I call it that becuase I give it to all the new guys.  I say to them “New Guy....If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. Get married as soon as you can becuase  a bachelor's life is no life for a single man.  As for me, I’m not single, I'm romantically challenged.  Always rember, a bad plan is better than no plan....I mean, look how far it got me.  If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.  When filing reports, a little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.  If that doesn’t work, admit nothing, deny everything and make counter-accusations. ...most importently remember “He drove his car at me” it works everytime and lastly.... Every man has his price. Mine is $3,000 in cash.

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